...since i've blogged, and a lot has happened. most recently, however, i had a disturbing conversation with one of the most meaningful people in my life. the conversation was disturbing in that it brought to light several issues of which i wasn't aware.
i wish i were a man.
while most men would take that statement as typical "penis envy," for me it carries so much weight. how different would my life be if i were automatically superior to someone else just because of my gender? how many more freedoms would i have enjoyed growing up a male child? how much less of a headache/burden would my existence be to my parents?
i like myself. i like who i've become and who i'm growing to be. i like the positive strides i've made and though i've made many mistakes in the past, i like how they've shaped me. i would be content in being a woman if it weren't for society. not only would i be respected more as a man (unfortunately), but i would never have to worry about how it looks to other people when i hold my girlfriend's hand or kiss her passionately as i often want to do (but am scared to for fear of being inappropriate). and it's not all for my own peace of mind either. my girlfriend wouldn't have to worry about any obstacles like explaining our relationship to her family, worrying how her family will react, worrying how society will react, if we could ever legally get married, and furthermore, how building a family would work.
it would be a lot easier if i were a man.
but then, is anything worth having easy? would we really value such a thing if attaining it was so trivial?
this vague stream of consciousness will probably puzzle some, but it's helped me. alright, i'm done unloading. back to work.
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1 comment:
GREAT topic, I actually wanted to write on this subject too. This is an issue that cannot ever have "to many "blogs concerning it, in fact, there would never be enough!
It is sad how we have to hide who we are, just because society wants us to act a certain way. Do not wish you were a man, because the feeling of being a lady and having another lady love you and treat you better than any man would, is GREAT!
I wish you and your girlfriend the BEST, like I said many times before lol. And just know when you are walking down the street holding her hand or giving her that passionate kiss she deserves, many people will look at you like you are the devil. But there will be at least one person looking at you with tons of admiration! and that is all that should matter! Some people are not in the stage as you, and are not accepting of themselves, because the people who surround them stop them from being truly happy. So just be a good example for those people, the ones who are walking in your old shoes.
I wish you happiness and more hunny.
take care, and keep these blogs coming!
Lory_A
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