BDAY

So yesterday was my birthday. I can't believe how old I am..it seriously doesn't feel like I'm any older than 19. I do feel and see how I've matured over the years, but I still can't really associate my age with 24. It's a lot to think about right now.

I'm sitting at work and realized not only have I not blogged in a minute, but I haven't blogged since my angry blow up. Thankfully, my anger was assuaged by my wonderful woman, who somehow has the power to make me smile even in the worst of times. I fall for her each and every day.

Saturday was nice in that: I got the see Lynz (whom I hadn't seen in FOREVER); Tiffany came through which I thought was extra awesome; my cousins came through and were such a positive and empowering presence; and of course seeing all of the people who I know/have met through Fausto (who hosted the party). Overall, however, I was really disappointed with my end of the turn out. A lot of people I extended an invite to didn't make it. Some had excuses, some didn't. Some let me know they wouldn't be able to make it beforehand, some didn't say anything at all. It actually doesn't surprise me, [but it's things like this that make me so picky when it comes to friendships]. What is disappointing is that I extend myself to people who really don't deserve it. So I'm done. I'm done with fake people, I'm done with people who are negative, and I'm done with people who are inconsistent. I'm also done feeling hurt. At the end of the day, those who mean the most to me will be those who've been there the most for me. And in turn, I'll be there for them. [yep, still sticking to high standards]

I've come to learn that it's not healthy to dwell or linger on negative things. And I've also come to learn and appreciate the value of second chances. That doesn't mean that I'm going to put up with bullshit tho..no one is worth that much that I would let them continuously hurt me or pull the same kind of crap. I have more respect for myself than that.

I understand you're only human, but so am I. The expectations I place on you I also place on myself; I'd never expect you to do something I personally wasn't willing to do.
So if you didn't make it to my party, it's cool...just don't expect an invite to any others unless we had a prior understanding.

That being said, I'm moving on.

The day of my birth itself was quite pleasant. I spent it with the most beautiful, inspiring, brilliant, strong and sexy woman I know: my one and only.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

+vibes [this is the clear sign-off winner, in case you missed it :-P]