Monday, April 29, 2013

life is happening whether i want it to or not..time passes without a single look back. things change. i've spent so much of my life thinking this is a bad thing when really it's the beauty of life.

with great power comes even greater responsibility right? so thus i'm scared shitless of what it truly means to have my life in my own hands.

scared, but excited. scared, but curious. scared, but determined to do it regardless.
when my time here is over, i only hope i can say "i did it my way"

Friday, April 5, 2013

Y otra vez

I really wish I could commit to doing something consistently which is actually good for me. For whatever reason, I seem to sabotage any such effort and instead commit to consistently doing bad things, making bad decisions. I could be completely aware of the wiser (and necessarily) tougher decision yet I will make the poorer choice.

I'm not sure I know what love means/feels for me anymore. My associations in the past have proved my definition wrong.
I would hate to think that I have become an icy heartless shell of a creature with no more connection to this life or this world beyond my corporate labor. It sucks to feel like I am just going through the motions of a shadow of a life.

So much potential but where is the kinetic? What will move me to action? Why must I let myself fall to the very bottom before I decide to make a positive change?

Is control an illusion? Do I really have more power to control this experience called life?

I should really write in this blog more. Maybe if/when I actually quit my job. Oh greener pastures, I refuse to believe that seeking you over my current station makes me a quitter. I wanna be a big fish in a smaller pond, these waters are to frigid for me.