Thursday, November 20, 2008

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me..

I am officially in love. What does that mean though? Is it wanting to spend every waking moment with that special someone? Is it how thoughts of them make you smile, even when you're having a bad day? Or is it an overwhelming urge to have their babies?

Now, I don't really like kids. The thought of giving birth to and raising one didn't really appeal to me. I concluded that I would just not have kids because I didn't truly see myself as a parent. I believe being a parent takes an insurmountable amount of selflessness, which I didn't believe I could feel. At this point, however, I've learned that this pure selflessness does exist in me. I want to do whatever it takes to make my woman happy. I *need* to. It's such a consuming urge to love, protect and honor her that I sometimes wonder if I've ever truly been in love before this. Now I find myself really (read: REALLY) wanting to have her children and starting a family with her. I really believe our kids would be the coolest people ever since they would be surrounded with the kind of love we have for each other: unconditional, non-judgemental, understanding, and strong.

Since I'm a bit old-school and traditional, I don't want to have kids out of wedlock. I know how it feels to see a parent come in and out of my life because they had no real obligation to stay. I want to make a commitment, not just to my (beautiful) wife, but to our children as well. I've learned through experience that marriage is extremely important to me. I do believe that it is an acknowledgement of the commitment two people have to each other and I respect that commitment. It's also acknowledging that unerring love they have for each other and a confirmation that they do want to start a family with you. Marriage pretty much eliminates all doubts for me because I know when I'm ready to marry her (and she's ready for me), it's going to be for real. Until then, I'm forever looking forward to our future together and working on building a good foundation for us.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Awkward turtles and their babies..

There's something about talking to a "pseudo" ex that is kind of awkward for me.

We all know what "pseudo" exes are. They're basically people with whom you connect, flirt, talk for hours on the phone, (maybe even have sex) and picture a relationship, but it never really materializes. They're the people who you expose yourself to at most risk because you really don't know where it will go, even if they assure you that you're "on track to getting there."

Sidenote: To me, getting on track towards a relationship is a huge deal. It means that I'm comfortable with making myself vulnerable to you ON TOP of wanting to be monogamous, which isn't really reflected on my track record (ie., my mom called me a womanizer).

I find the whole courting ritual a load of bullshit. You know right off the bat if you're able to be in a relationship with someone or not. If you have doubts (and they clearly outweigh your chemistry), then clearly it's not gonna happen. I just hate when people try to string it along when it's going nowhere..kinda makes me wonder why they do it.
Anyway, at some point you (or they) realize it wouldn't work out. So you're left with some resentment and a lot of questions that would make you seem clingy and pathetic if you asked. Then you move on and kind of cut them out of your life, because heck, you haven't really gotten over them.
So you don't want to see them, and then the next time you do (if it's recent enough to the pseudo-breakup) and they still make you melt, you must start the healing process all over again b/c they've probably moved on by then (I always assume I like someone more than they like me, since this has usually been the case with people I legitimately like). You cut them off again and after a while, you start to see their flaws and the reasons why you would never work out. And hopefully, you come across someone who's even better. Only then, can you be pseudo-friends. But, it's still a little awkward/entertaining to interact after not having done so for a really long time. I'm so interested in the human condition. All these feelings matter to the person experiencing them, and we go through so much bullshit and so much pain for NO reason, other than the natural drama that is being human.

In the end, I'm elated things didn't work out. Everything happens for a reason..and I've found mine :)


I cannot believe they took Dr. Hahn off of Grey's!!! WTF?!?!

The first kiss ever between these two.. and I'm soo upset that she's now off the show:

SO HOT. omg. sigh.

Hazaa! and chickens.

How approps that my good friend Lynzhi would send me an email about chickens soon after my agrarian rant!
I had to share this, simply becau
se it's a brilliant way to sum up each person's point of view and/or their representation in the public eye. Cheers to whoever did this!

Subject: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road???

BARACK OBAMA The chicken crossed the road because
it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN My friends, that chicken crossed the
road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation
and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the

SARAH PALIN You betcha he crossed the road, but
let's not talk about that, let's talk about energy policy,
and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom
to manage the budget of the only state in America with a
massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless
Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on them

HILLARY CLINTON When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right
from day one! - that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me

GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either "for us
or agin' us." There is no middle ground here

DICK CHENEY Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the

BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with that
chicken...What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE I invented the chicken

JOHN KERRY Although I voted to let the chicken
cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road
to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I
am not for it now, and will remain against it

AL SHARPTON Why are all the chickens white? We need
some black chickens

OPRAH Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN We have reason to
believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
to have access to the other side of the road

NANCY GRACE That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks

PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent,
hardworking American

DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but
why it crossed I've not been told

ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain... alone

JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Can't
you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the
'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that *

GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough

ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the

JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace

ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the
road, or did the road move beneath the chicken


I hate money

So this is the lamest thing ever. I have so much debt, I'm absolutely broke, and to top it all off, my business AmEx has been declined because the good people at my job have spent $8000 over the limit.
What's the added bonus? I'm in the middle of nowhere, massachusetts.

This means that I had to go into my pityful excuse for a checking account and *overdraw* so I could pay for gas...AND I'm staying here until tomorrow, which means I overdrew even more cash just to be safe. I think one of my worst fears is getting stranded. I can see myself actually crying...but I digress. My point is, I hate money and our sad reliance on it to function in society.

Do you know what a good life is? Does it involve having exorbitant amounts of money? Or is it feeling true and pure joy/happiness/love?

People (myself included) like to believe that money is the solution to all problems. If I had loads of money, I could pay off all my debt, quit my job and retire early, buy my girl pretty things, travel around the world and be successful in my parents eyes. This would lead to a stress-free life which would help my health and translate into living longer and enjoying life thoroughly while I'm still here. When you really think about it though, I wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for money. If I didn't have to *pay* for school or *pay* for my car insurance or have to *pay* to purchase anything for that matter, money wouldn't even be an issue. It would become obsolete. Do you know how many trees we would save by not having money? Whatever happened to trading goods for services?

I guess an agrarian lifestyle at this point in history would be going backwards... or would it?

Food for thought. And yes, the pun was intended.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Even Homer gets down..

Just another way in which the people have spoken....

I think it's so awesome that even creators of a show like the Simpsons (which is on it's 20th season) are inspired and moved enough to make quite a statement as to this year's monumental election. Why? Because their viewers are enlightened people. Our generation, the generation that's kept this show running, is the same one that elected Barack.

I may not be a super-politico, but this is something that I just HAD to post.

Ps. This one's for you babe.